It’s been almost a year since you’ve been gone. A lot has changed. You can’t find me at CVT in unit 1302 baking up a batch of s’mores cookies or cooking up some spaghetti bolognese. Shuhan moved to Boston for residency.
People say that time heals all wounds. I’m not certain. As time passes, I think of you less, yet I think of you more. I wonder about you regularly. Mostly, I hope that you are alive and well; I hope that you are in Mexico or Costa Rica surfing or mountain manning it on the PCT. Where ever you are, where ever you may be, where ever you may go, as much as I miss you and wish you were here, I hope you have found the peace that you need. Until the day that your dead body shows up, I’m going to keep sending you prayers, thoughts and good juju and good karma.
You will remain in my memory the most kind and empathetic person- there are so many times that you’ve shown me how to be more. Thank you for being my friend.
Love you Derek
P.S. These are little random bits that I want to tell you about if you’re out there reading this.
I’ve been on one car camping trip since you left. It was a disaster. First of all it was in Wisconsin. Second of all, a storm blew through and Shuhan broke his arm and needed a staple on his head. Shuhan told me to tourniquet his head wound and I was super confused- was I supposed to tourniquet his neck? That didn’t make sense. I’m missing all the crazy shenanigans on the camping trips- I’m definitely sad we haven’t had any more campfire cooking.
Shuhan and I went to Nepal and climbed to Everest Base Camp. We did it on the cheap. You would love it- so gorgeous- the tea houses, yaks, Himalayas. We stayed at this place in Pangboche that would have been perfect for our tri-be- three mattesses next to each other. I also pooped in my pants… twice. I don’t know if you would have found it hilarious, disgusting or a little of both. I think it’s disgustingly hilarious.
I didn’t go surfing for a really long time. I went a month ago for the first time to clear my head. I still suck. I could definitely still use your help getting towed out. Remember that moment you and I realized too late that I was going to eat it on that wave and then eating it… hard. Oops. I really miss the before/ after surfing treats- The Kettle, that pancake place, Whole Foods. I used most of the duck fat that you got me from Whole Foods after one of our surfing escapades and they are the perfect accoutrement to roasted rosemary potatoes. I think of you every time I’m driving to El Porto and when I’m in the water, I feel peace.
Shuhan and I hosted exactly one more dinner party. You know that you RSVP’ed “Yes” on Facebook right? One of the greatest compliment you gave me was “just tell Mary you’re coming over to study and she’ll feed you.” You brought a bottle of wine every single time you came over. I miss cooking for our little family.
Shuhan and I aren’t together anymore. I wonder what you would say to him. I wonder what you would say to me. I know you would have been sad.
A lot has happened this year. What about you?