Derek,
Happy birthday! Wherever you are, and however you may be today, you’re loved by your friends and family. We miss you, and we love you dearly.
I’m sitting here studying for an exam, drinking coffee and watching life go by. Every day these little moments that make me remember just how much I miss you. Every good thing that happens to me makes me think about how you should have been here, because you would have been happy for me.
For every bit of bad news or setback that I get in life, I remember how comfortable I felt sharing that with you too. Driving in a car. Oh, that’s the toughest. I used to have conversations with myself, but I now find that I’m actually more comfortable thinking about all my faults and vulnerabilities when you’re part of my inner monologue, more so than when I talk to myself. Go figure.
When I hop on a flight, I think about your seat next to me. Where would you have slept when you stayed in San Francisco? Did you want to go to the moon festival in Tibet? How about Chile? Aconcagua? The TcDS machine still hasn’t been built, but I’ll get around to it. Mary is awesome at planning our interviews, isn’t she?
Regardless of what any future developments may be, the things I’ll always remember about you will always stay the same. I don’t know where you are, who does? But I know that I still think about you every day. You were always an incredible source of strength and intelligence, but your friendships were truly special. I’m a better person because of you. We’re all better people because of you.
To all his friends and family, I encourage you to share any fond memories of Derek, either on the comments below, or on his Facebook page. These were mine, but I know I was just one of the many. These memories are special, and I know I would love to hear them all from you.
All the best
Shuhan
I think of you often these days, Derek! You are part of my two of most favorite memories–our trip to Germany and our trip to India! You, Betsy and I–both trips. I hope and pray you are well, Derek. Happy birthday, guy!
My Dearest Derek,
Shuhan has beautifully expressed what so many of us feel – we love you and miss you terribly. Whatever you felt you had to do hasn’t changed our love for you, and we so desperately want to know that you are safe. Grandma, Grandpa, Daniel and Briana are here this weekend – along with Evan and Snezana, Elyse, and Ethan – we are celebrating the day you were born. We had the photo albums out today, looking at the smiling little boy with the curls, and the strong, handsome man you grew to be. I miss your wisdom, your perspective, your warm presence. I miss hearing about your day… I miss talking with you… I miss the facetime from the beaches… I miss getting to hug you now and then… I love you… I wish I could have been there for you.
Mom
Dear Shuhan,
What a wonderful birthday wish to a wonderful person. I am Derek’s stepmother and I had the privilege of watching Derek grow up. I watched him grow from an awkward little boy into an amazing, intelligent, kind, talented, loving man. I too miss him every day. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him or look for him in a crowd or check his Facebook page to see if he made an entry. I only hope and pray that wherever he is he has found his peace. He is lucky to have good friends such as you and I am sure he knows it. I believe in my heart that we will see him again soon and I pray to God to help him find his way home. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and please keep praying for Derek.
Sincerely,
Barbara Seehausen